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如何称赞某人,使之能够增强其人的能力?

情景:有个我很重要的人不时会给我发送她学会做的各种东西的照片,比如面包之类的。我猜想她期望得到一些赞赏的话语,我非常希望能够给予她,但我不知道怎样才能够具体地做到既能给她心理上的支持又不显得逼迫或者虚伪。我真的很高兴她这样做,但我不知道该如何用言辞表达。我想指出的是,我是一个自闭症患者,理解各种语言细微差别对我来说是个挑战,我也不擅长用话语描述内心的感受。然而,我在网络上所找到唯一关于赞扬支持的内容都是些没有实质性提升的泛泛之语,我尽管凭直觉了解到这些,因为我具有过度共情的特点,但却对此一无所获。或许在这里有些人可以给我一些建议吗?
情景:有个我很重要的人不时会给我发送她学会做的各种东西的照片,比如面包之类的。我猜想她期望得到一些赞赏的话语,我非常希望能够给予她,但我不知道怎样才能够具体地做到既能给她心理上的支持又不显得逼迫或者虚伪。我真的很高兴她这样做,但我不知道该如何用言辞表达。我想指出的是,我是一个自闭症患者,理解各种语言细微差别对我来说是个挑战,我也不擅长用话语描述内心的感受。然而,我在网络上所找到唯一关于赞扬支持的内容都是些没有实质性提升的泛泛之语,我尽管凭直觉了解到这些,因为我具有过度共情的特点,但却对此一无所获。或许在这里有些人可以给我一些建议吗?
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6 answers


mk7
In this topic, I can highly recommend a great book: Carol Dweck's "New Psychology of Success". In short, it is about focusing on praising effort and getting rid of the tendency to assess someone's self-esteem. Rather than focusing on judgments that may be associated with self-esteem, the idea is to focus on praising the effort put in and not stretching the results of achievements to assess the person. For example, getting an A in Polish does not mean that I am talented or brilliant; it simply means that I have done well in a specific task assigned to me. This is an evaluation of my work, not of me. Thanks to this, when I receive a failing grade, I will understand that it is because of the lack of effort put in, not because I am a failure. The author distinguishes between two approaches to problems/challenges (attitudes): a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, and describes them from many perspectives and examples. By the way, I believe that this should be mandatory reading for teachers and parents, right next to those related to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC) (if they are not already familiar with them). So, good luck with everything! ;D
In this topic, I can highly recommend a great book: Carol Dweck's "New Psychology of Success". In short, it is about focusing on praising effort and getting rid of the tendency to assess someone's self-esteem. Rather than focusing on judgments that may be associated with self-esteem, the idea is to focus on praising the effort put in and not stretching the results of achievements to assess the person. For example, getting an A in Polish does not mean that I am talented or brilliant; it simply means that I have done well in a specific task assigned to me. This is an evaluation of my work, not of me. Thanks to this, when I receive a failing grade, I will understand that it is because of the lack of effort put in, not because I am a failure. The author distinguishes between two approaches to problems/challenges (attitudes): a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, and describes them from many perspectives and examples. By the way, I believe that this should be mandatory reading for teachers and parents, right next to those related to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC) (if they are not already familiar with them). So, good luck with everything! ;D

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3 likes

Kinga92
"In such a situation, you can always write or tell the other person that you are proud of them, or that they did a very good job, for example, that the bread will be very tasty, or that their work was done very beautifully."
"In such a situation, you can always write or tell the other person that you are proud of them, or that they did a very good job, for example, that the bread will be very tasty, or that their work was done very beautifully."

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1 likes

IlonaCizewska1expert
The most important thing in giving feedback, including praise, is the authenticity of the message. It is important what the person wants to hear, but even more important is what you want to convey to them. If you don't feel the need to constantly praise, then don't do it. If something particularly catches your attention, emphasize it, but based on your sense of aesthetics or impressions, not other people's expectations. Lack of sincerity is always noticeable, regardless of the level of empathy or ability to express emotions.
The most important thing in giving feedback, including praise, is the authenticity of the message. It is important what the person wants to hear, but even more important is what you want to convey to them. If you don't feel the need to constantly praise, then don't do it. If something particularly catches your attention, emphasize it, but based on your sense of aesthetics or impressions, not other people's expectations. Lack of sincerity is always noticeable, regardless of the level of empathy or ability to express emotions.

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OpenAI BOT
If you want to show appreciation and strengthen that person, you can try to express your positive feelings towards their photos and the effort they put into learning different things. Here are a few suggestions: Show interest: Ask questions related to the objects or skills presented in the photos. You can ask how long they have been learning a particular thing, what difficulties they have encountered, and how they have overcome them. Showing engagement in the subject will help move from superficial compliments to deeper conversations. Point out specific aspects: Instead of just saying that the photos are good, focus on specific elements that you like. You can comment on creativity, the ability to use different techniques, or meticulous execution. Thank them for sharing: Express gratitude for the person sending you the photos and sharing their achievements. Tell them how much you appreciate their initiative and how much it motivates you to also develop. Offer specific help: If you feel like it, you can offer your support or joint learning. You can suggest working on a project together or advise where to find additional materials or inspiration. Remember that honesty and authenticity are crucial, so it is important to say what you feel. If you are genuinely excited and happy about their progress, tell them in your own language. It is important to be authentic, even if it is difficult to find words to describe internal feelings.
If you want to show appreciation and strengthen that person, you can try to express your positive feelings towards their photos and the effort they put into learning different things. Here are a few suggestions: Show interest: Ask questions related to the objects or skills presented in the photos. You can ask how long they have been learning a particular thing, what difficulties they have encountered, and how they have overcome them. Showing engagement in the subject will help move from superficial compliments to deeper conversations. Point out specific aspects: Instead of just saying that the photos are good, focus on specific elements that you like. You can comment on creativity, the ability to use different techniques, or meticulous execution. Thank them for sharing: Express gratitude for the person sending you the photos and sharing their achievements. Tell them how much you appreciate their initiative and how much it motivates you to also develop. Offer specific help: If you feel like it, you can offer your support or joint learning. You can suggest working on a project together or advise where to find additional materials or inspiration. Remember that honesty and authenticity are crucial, so it is important to say what you feel. If you are genuinely excited and happy about their progress, tell them in your own language. It is important to be authentic, even if it is difficult to find words to describe internal feelings.

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1 likes

Zaklinaczka
Do it the way you feel. You don't have to hide your autism from important people in your life, it's not worth it (I'm speaking from experience). You also don't have to follow any guidelines or strive for high levels of creativity, especially if you're having a bad day. If it's not your child, you can skip the psychological reinforcement effect. The key is simply to react positively, in a way that fits your relationship with that person. In regards to the bread photo, I would comment like this: "so beautiful," "looks very appetizing :)", "bravo, like from a artisan bakery," "yum," "omnomnom," ":)"
Do it the way you feel. You don't have to hide your autism from important people in your life, it's not worth it (I'm speaking from experience). You also don't have to follow any guidelines or strive for high levels of creativity, especially if you're having a bad day. If it's not your child, you can skip the psychological reinforcement effect. The key is simply to react positively, in a way that fits your relationship with that person. In regards to the bread photo, I would comment like this: "so beautiful," "looks very appetizing :)", "bravo, like from a artisan bakery," "yum," "omnomnom," ":)"

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1 likes

Matiael

Encourage that person to do some more difficult task/challenge which will require more effort and time to accomplish. This was you will get pics less often.

Encourage that person to do some more difficult task/challenge which will require more effort and time to accomplish. This was you will get pics less often.

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